On the eve before we begin our regular routine I feel like I used to during many workouts on the track team in college. Often we would run a certain distance repetitively - or in intervals. We would, for example, sprint 300 meters and walk 100 meters - and repeat the process 10 times or so. Sometimes we would have to run hard for 2 minutes, and jog for 1 for a total of 30 minutes or something crazy. I am recalling that feeling I'd have just before the "rest period" ended - in prep for the sprinting part. The start line or time kept coming closer. I often felt nauseous, still hadn't caught my breath from the last sprint, my lungs burned, my legs ached, and heart pounded. There was some dread and thoughts of quitting. But on the flip side I would dream of the possible outcome: success in the next meet, the thrill of completing an agonizing workout, the satisfaction in aching muscles. I also knew that the pain was temporary - soon it would be over! Just push through it! I LOVED that feeling when I'd pressed through each workout and was striving for the next goal.
I know this period of my life is similar. Most of the time I am sprinting - "running hard" trying to school and care for 4 kids, minister to others, cook nutritious meals, keep a house, support a hard working husband in his career and ministry, and still spiritually feed myself. I find myself dreading the beginning of the next "sprint" - I am not yet recovered, rested, or "spiritually where I'd like to be yet." But it comes - I can't stop time. And this season of my life really is short in light of eternity. Why do I focus so much on my burning lungs and aching legs? Why was I so driven to reach my competitive track goals - but so often lose sight of my goals now? I guess part of the reason is that it is not about me anymore. I am trying to live my life to the glory of God and my selfishness gets in the way as do other distractions...
How much I will LOVE that feeling when I can reflect back on this season and know I gave it ALL I had. As the time came to sprint again I lowered my head, took a deep breath, stepped forward and began to run - harder and harder. In the challenge and difficulty there is still joy.
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14
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