the first day of school: the real truth

(Author's note: even though the date at the top of the page says Aug. 4th - I am really writing this on August 7th!)

I don't really like to wait for things - never was totally into delayed gratification. I was not planning on waiting several days AFTER our first day of school to blog about it.....in fact before our first day of school I was already thinking about taking some school pictures and what kinds of goals I had for the day - then I would run to the computer in the evening and look at my pictures and write up a sweet commentary on how great our day went. Well that was until our day went, ah, lousy at times and by the end I wanted to run - far, far away! I felt like a fraud - you know "a person unjustifiably claiming or being credited with accomplishments or qualities." So now, several days later, I am going to tell you the REAL TRUTH:

I didn't get up at 5 am to have my quiet time with the Lord - though I would have loved to - but I was up until 12 am the night before preparing. I tried to have a heart to heart talk with God in the shower - where I do most of my thinking. I didn't grind any wheat and make fresh bread before breakfast. I was going to prepare cinnamon raisin french toast for the kids before school, but forgot to get the bread out of the freezer so they had to have cereal. Everyone's books were not in a row and I no idea how I was going to keep Jonathan occupied for 4 hours. I had even decided we would not do all our subjects this week and would go on a "modified" or simpler schedule. This ended up stressing both Madison and me out since we are such perfectionistic "box checkers"! However........

Our morning did start out nicely and we had fun thinking of creative ways we could take pictures. It was even under 100 degrees so it wasn't bad outside at 8am.....finally we all came inside and everyone was eager to rip into their books and start! All of a sudden all four kids were saying....."Mom! I need you! Mom! How do you do this? Mom! When is it my turn?" Suddenly I felt like I had 8 children with 16 mouths and none of them knew how to read or write! Ahhh! We got through that hump well enough that I was able to snap a few pictures of the fun moments!

Overall the day just didn't go the way I'd envisioned to the point that I just felt I couldn't blog about it. Going to bed and starting a new day seemed the best option. Well - that was after I spent at least an hour going on and on about it while Merl patiently listened and gave me some helpful feedback and ideas.

Sure enough - each day this week has been better - attitudes have improved, little successes have been made, multiplication tables recalled, books read, maps studied, perseverance has paid off, and we have made it to the end of our first week.

The REAL TRUTH is that I am realizing this homeschooling experience is not for perfectionists (hmm, like me) who are unwilling to leave a box unchecked, it not for momma's who are incapable of straying from their "proposed" schedule, or for people such as I who just "need" to be able to control most situations, or those afraid to fail. No, it is for mothers like me who desperately want to learn how to love their kids, spend as much possible time teaching and living life with them, and having opportunities to build them up in the Lord. Homeschooling can be for normal people (like me) who WILL fail somehow (probably daily), may not have all the "necessary" degrees, or even people who are absolutely convinced "I could never homeschool." The KICKER for me? I have to be willing to risk - step outside my comfort zone - do what doesn't come natural - be willing to change - to adjust - to accept - be taught - and be molded.

" Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." Isaiah 64:8

Here are the "high" lights of our first day to the tune of "The Great Adventure" by Steven Curtis Chapman.