20 years and counting......

Even when you try to embrace and enjoy them, the years race by.  How to stop them from slipping away so fast I don't know.....In the throws of life's daily stresses I struggle with thankfulness and the ability to cling to each day as a blessing.  And so, when one hits a milestone, one tends to slow down at least for a few days and look back - giving thanks.

More than 22 years ago as I sat in church one Sunday, I saw Merl from afar settling into his seat with another girl....."I am going to marry a man exactly like that someday," I said to my friend next to me.  We both knew Merl from the training room at UNM.  He had always been a friendly encouragement to me - a guy with good character, but that day when I realized he might also be a believer, the Lord seemed to plant a seed in my heart.  We started dating only a few months before he graduated.....sort of under the radar.  Athletes weren't supposed to date the trainers.....ha ha!  I still remember the first day I met his Mom.....and the way she checked me out from over her glasses.  She had every reason to be suspicious....as I was more than a little rough around the edges!

Merl and I on one of my spring break trips to Miami

Even though I was head over heels in love, Merl had other thoughts.....like a career.  As soon as he drove away that summer of 1990 in his little Nissan truck, I was sure I was going to die of a broken heart.....but he was pursuing his dream job at Doctor's Hospital with the University of Miami - the last thing on his mind was settling down.  We had only been dating a few months.  "It's been great knowing you," he said.  Thus began 2 years of my tears, weekly phone calls, handwritten letters, and only seeing each other 4 separate times.

January 2, 1993

After my graduation in June of 1992, I flew to Miami with no job, a few suitcases,  and $400 in my pocket.  (Mom and Dad, I have a new appreciation for you as you still loved me through this time when I flew away to be with a man you had only met once!) I don't highly recommend this, ha ha!  We were engaged 4 weeks later......and then January 2, 1993 we said "I do" in a little adobe church in front of our dear friends and family.  We flew back to Miami shortly after to begin our simple life together.  Sometimes I wonder how life would be different had we stayed there in South Miami for the duration, in our sweet little house church and with Merl working with the doctors and co-workers we loved so much.  I was a houseparent in a children's home - caring for foster children.  After Merl finished his master's degree, I decided to pursue mine in social work at ASU.

Shark Valley, Florida 1993

Our Lord is Sovereign and perfect in His plans for us, and in the summer of 1994 we loaded up a Uhaul and drove to Arizona.  Here, we have been nurtured, loved, and encouraged by more people than we can count for the last 19 years! So many have helped us along the way as we've gone from a family of 2 to 6. Our lives are rich and we have no regrets about the time we have invested in relationships and our life here. (But we still treasure those times with our dear friends in Florida!) So bittersweet!

July, 2012

So as I reflect back on when we were married 20 years ago I realize I had no idea what I was doing.  Who does?  How do you know what the next day, the middle, or the end will look like?  I got more than I could have ever dreamed or hoped for in this deal.  Who could I ask for a more selfless husband - one who whole heartedly serves the Lord and puts his family's needs before his own?  Neither of us are perfect and we could NOT write a book on how to do marriage - all I can say we have done right was tried to do what we thought the Lord was calling us to do each step of the way - regardless of how hard it was or difficult.  Merl is much more willing to do this with the right attitude.  I am usually the one kicking and whining behind.  But what a blessing to have someone to follow who leads well and wisely.

What are we supposed to do next?  I don't have any idea - I can barely figure out what is for dinner this week and what we will be doing next in the 8th, 6th, 2nd grades and kindergarten! We will probably not agree on it all - that is for sure.  Some days I wonder if we really like anything the same!  Then I look around and see that I am focusing not on the blessings but our differences.  I see that even though I love watching football every day of the week and eating cheeseburgers and he might prefer to go on a hike and eat a salad that these are the minor things. We are one in Christ.  We want to trust in Christ. We find strength in Christ, and we can always go back to Christ when we fail. For this I am thankful. We are both sinners and will never be perfect - but Christ is and in Him we are united.

In front of UNM, where we met...Dec. 2012

                                                                            Visiting the church where we married....Dec. 2012

I don't know if we have 1 more year together or 40 left but in this I have no control.  For now I say thanks to my hubby for accepting me with my flaws and loving me as I am.....for encouraging me and believing in me.....for providing for me and sticking with me - even when I've been unlovable.  Merl is trustworthy, humble, wise, and innovative.  He works long hours, is patient, spends time with the kids, and doesn't complain when we have the same thing for 3 meals a day!  He is strong in the areas I am weak. Even though you know I am not adventurous, thanks for 20 years of thrills, my love!

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." 

                                                                                           Psalm 37:4