long time no write......

It's been 3 years since I started this blog - and during that whole time I don't think I've gone 2 months without writing. Most who know me would say I've never been at a loss for words....it is usually quite the opposite. But frankly for the last 2 months each time I have thought of sitting down and writing about our daily activities it just seemed trivial. Not that our life or daily happenings were unimportant because to us they were....

I didn't write because 1) There was not an instant of extra time and 2) I couldn't formulate the right thoughts to write about my family in contrast to what was going on around me.

I didn't record the last two months because I was too busy living it - and experiencing relationships. I was investing in family out of state and engaging in friendship to its fullest extent here.

I was loving others' children, regularly visiting friends in the hospital, saying good-bye, grieving my own offenses, and pleading on my knees for the lives of precious ones.

I am ready to write again - because the thoughts and events have been piling up! And this is how I work it all through. The challenges of the last two months were not all necessarily negative - in fact even though they have been difficult - I count them a privilege to have gone through. Friendship is an investment.....a journey.....more on that later.......in the meantime....here is a taste of "the normal" that has transpired in between the trials.....

Trip to Albuquerque to see family and work the NM Homeschool Convention

A treehouse was constructed!

Yes - we were sitting here - this photo is with no zoom!!!

School year all done and packed up in a box!

Painting......

Hotspot #4 - Fridge and Pantry!

I was so excited when Simple Mom announced the 4th hotspot was the pantry and fridge! It has been over 4 years since we moved "back in" our remodeled house and the kitchen cabinets were in disarray. Since being introduced to a cleaning schedule by the Fly Lady awhile back - I have made it a normal routine to clean out the fridge almost every month and I've worked on the pantry before. But there were other parts of my kitchen I wanted to work on. I didn't get to EVERY drawer and cabinet - but the worst ones. I am so blessed to have a huge kitchen with tons of space! Now there is even more!

I love how Tsh suggests that as you handle each food item you think carefully about whether it is something you should be eating and having in your home. Good time to get back to whatever plan one has for eating healthy!

***DISCLAIMER*** Sort of funny it is the end of the month and so fridge and pantry are more empty than normal. Trying to stick to the budget!

Before on bottom of pantry

After

Top of pantry before....

After....

Fridge (a day before I actually cleaned it out....)

Had to take a picture of this - I took every shelf and drawer out and scrubbed. Oh my....

Merl came home with groceries right after I took this picture!

This was one of the "extras" I really wanted to work on....

I would call this cabinet the "catch - all"....

Extra space now!

Bring on Hotspot #5!

Just when I thought I had purged it all...

Over the past four weeks I have been moving insanely around my house - focusing in on various areas and performing the art of purging. That is: expelling things from our home that we do not need or that are a down right a hinderance to accomplishing our day to day goals as a family. I don't have a problem being motivated for these projects because I love the way I feel refreshed and happy with the end result.

The exercise of "simplifying" our home has provoked me to reflect on another place needing cleansing: my heart. Just like the house, there is an overwhelming amount of rubbish inside me that needs immediate attention since it's been neglected. It is curious how removing clutter from my house is so similar to weeding out the unresolved sin choking my own life...here is what I've observed:

1) Much of the time, looks are deceiving. The house often appears neat and organized.....but behind most cupboards and closets there is an absolute mess. Many times my life is the same! It appears "together" but isolated inside my heart there are the habits of discontentment, pride, selfishness, irritability, anger, and judgmentalism, and the list goes on.

2) The areas needing purging seem endless! Once I finish with one part of the house, it seems I notice five extra areas screaming for attention! The more I simplify and organize, the more I realize needs done around our home. It can cause me to delay work. My experience is similar as I become aware of shortcomings in my character or walk with the Lord - the Holy Spirit illuminates further zones for work....it is helpful but the task can seem massive, resulting in avoidance.

3) It is wasteful when I accumulate "too much garbage." Shoving clothes, toys, and items we don't need in closets and drawers builds up more work and stress later. Not having a system in place and losing or misplacing things is unproductive. How true with my spiritual life! When my soul is cluttered with unresolved sin, frustration, and broken communion with God - I am not useful for His kingdom. My life is fruitless - sometimes damaging to others.

4) Without regular "maintenance", our home will buildup clutter again. It will not matter how much I purge now - if I don't figure out how to preserve the effect of my efforts, I'll be back in the same position next year. I am finding the same to be true with spiritual battles. I might fight a good fight for a while, but if I don't stay in the Word, prayer, and good Christian accountability - I continue to struggle.

5) The deeper I clean, the longer it lasts. If I take the time necessary to handle every item in our home, make a decision about it (in or out!), and give it a place - the better. I need to vacuum, scrub, dust, and rearrange. The more broken and crushed I am over my sin - the sweeter the victory of forgiveness. If I name each transgression - feel it, touch it, and weep over the wound - how much better the healing. I must choose to heave it OUT rather than shove it in another closet.

6) The work can seem impenetrable/discouraging. There are distractions everywhere. Often the task of clearing out the house seems insurmountable. It looks worse before it gets better. I have to walk straight past filthy bathrooms and piles of laundry in order to finish my projects. "Heart" work tends to be similar. My own sin and habits often seem so revolting I wonder if I am hopeless. And, after I begin work on one offensive area - I am easily sidetracked or move on to others without finishing my original work.

Nonetheless.... with each small victory in my home, there is assurance that change is possible. I know what my strategy is to maintain our physical dwelling place.....the challenge NOW...I must attack the depths of my soul with the same fervency. At the risk of sounding basic...I am considering using the same methods as I have for our residence:

1) Decide what my purpose is and formulate a plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."

2) Admit there needs to be improvement....that I am weak. Humble myself.

"...Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you..."

3) Focus on what my goals are - and don't be diverted.

"...You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart..."

4) Concentrate on one issue at a time. Progress might be slow, but it is sure.

"...I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity..."

5) Recruit encouragement and accountability from those in the same battle.

"...I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

Jeremiah 29:11-14

6) Never give up the fight - God won't - and He is Good - and it is for His Glory.

"....he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6b

***Funny how this post was swimming in my head and I never thought I'd take the time to get it out - but then I read this post by Ann Voskamp about vulnerability, transparency, etc. that sort of nudged me to share it...I can't explain why, except I do have a passion to share with women and I like a challenge! The She Speaks Conference sounds interesting - if you like to write you might look into it.

Hotspot #3 - Kid's clothes/toys (Girls!)

Madison was raring to go on working on their room. Of course every time she wants to paint and rearrange furniture. Not this time. That can wait till summer. She too has a great work ethic in this area and seems able to part with things and make sound decisions. Our goal for all the kids is to help them be the most independent possible - and for every single item they own to have a clear "home." Seems for the girls this is a little more of a challenge, but they work hard at it! Again this process gets easier every time and I find if we work on it in small blocks of time it goes better. (Clothes one block of a few hours, other "stuff" another time)

Again - the room was in much disarray beforehand.....

Oh my.

Much better....

A little cluttered, I'd say....

Nice. Like my desk from when I was a kid?

Allison's corner.....

Madison's side....

Full view, minus part of Allie's corner...I love Ikea....

Funny that the girls had the same tally as the boys......1 bag of trash, 2 bags of clothes, and 1 box of give away. Done! New motivation to keep the place clean.....and now mom is off to Hotspot #4: the pantry and kitchen and whatever else in there I can get to!

Hotspot #3 - Kid's clothes/toys (Boys!)

I am still a purging maniac over here.....last week's hotspot was the kid's clothes/toys. Awesome! I have been doing fairly well at trying to do this at least 2x per year. It gets easier every time. And I do believe maybe the kids are learning how to do it and look forward to it! Both Madison and Ryan begged to be first.....boys won so we knocked them out. Jonathan helped sort his toys and then was dismissed while I did the clothes. Now that I have a system for incoming/outgoing clothes it is more orderly. Ryan couldn't wait for his turn and he does a fabulous job of making decisions, letting things go, and keeping special keepsakes. He is a pleasure to work with!

The Simple Mom lady gives great tips to get started and even provides a printout of instructions for each hotspot. Of course her book has it all in there too.

So here are before and afters......***DISCLAIMER*** These before pics were taken when the rooms were in horrid shape. Some simple straightening could solve a great deal of these issues - but makes the after pictures look dandy!

One side of the lower closet...

Cool....

Not too bad really.....

Got rid of a few things and consolidated the rock collection.....Ryan is doing his own laundry now, too -

Too many clothes to put away......thinned those out....

Oh man, I love summer!

Yes, the boys have toys - legos housed here.....others under the bed! Like it!

So, 1 bag of trash, 2 bags of clothes, and 1 box of give away toys later.....it was on to the girls' side.

Birthday Blessings....

People say that "life is a journey"......and well, yes, I guess we do go from one thing to another - traveling around from event to event. But what is the meaning of it all - and true value of our life? Seems we ponder these things more as we grow older......wiser......as we have more days on earth to look back on than we do to look forward to. I have been reflecting quite a bit on my existence as I've been reading through "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. She seems to have asked a lot of the same questions as I have over the past years.....so her story resonates with me.....

"Which road through this brief land? What is all most important? How to live the fullest life here that delivers into the full life every after?"

"How do we live fully so we are fully ready to die?"

I've always wanted to make a mark on the world - but now that a large portion of my life is behind me - what to do with the future? Ann discovered that.....

"Deep chara joy is found only at the table of the euCHARisteo---the table of thanksgiving."

Could I have wasted a large portion of time with ingratitude? YES.

"Eucharisteo---thanksgiving---always precedes the miracle."

"Thanksgiving----giving thanks in everything---prepares the way that God might show us Hisfullest salvation in Christ. "

Ann shares in her book that she spent ....."All those years thinking I was saved and had said my yes to God, but was really living the no."

I think to an extent I have done the same. While appearing happy and joyful on the outside - still inside I had questions and doubts. Not particularly a bad thing - but I was not always giving God the glory and credit for all He has done in my life. So Ann wondered....."How in the world , for the sake of my joy, do I learn to use eucharisteo to overcome my one ugly and self-destructive habit of ingratitude with the saving habit of gratitude---that would lead me back to deep God-communion?"

She began a list of a thousand things she loved. Simple....true....life changing. And so I too awhile back began my list. And I will admit it has been a struggle - since in my flesh I am so prone to the negative. I realized how hard it was to list the things I love! How could it be when there are so many? But I continue to persevere because I want to fight to "live fully where I am."

On this (birth)day as I consider the 41 years I have finished, I want to look ahead.

"I press on t take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me....I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:12-14)

I want to remember God's gifts to me in the past years - and give Him glory and praise for his blessings now. So an excerpt from my gratitude journal.....

#56 - Birthday love notes from loving and unique children....await me when i wake up.

#57 - Grandpa and grandson working together on a dream treehouse.....

#58 - Organization.....peace.

#59 - siblings rejoicing in the accomplishment of another - and anticipation of time spent together.

#60 - precious friend remembering birthday and sweet delivery of flowers......

#61- Loving husband baking cake (for first time in our 18 yrs. of marriage!) on the night before my day and his departure from home so kids could decorate and give birthday love......

#62 - Free dinner on your birthday at Joe's

#63 - Grilled chicken and sweet potato fries......enough said.

#64 - Another year to blow out birthday candles....

this momma loves to ROCK!

Some may think due to recent posts that I spend the majority of my time cleaning house, etc. OK - so it's true - I do occupy the better part of my time washing dishes, doing laundry, filing, mopping, vacuuming, taking care of kids, and cooking. There are other activities I do enjoy however.....like photography, hiking, drinking coffee, reading, and ..... well - rock concerts. Don't misunderstand - I haven't been to many - only a few. I am too cheap to pay. But this weekend presented a rare opportunity......two of our favorite bands - and free.....so I sacrificed cleaning, organizing, time, and sleep to go. And so did Merl (bless you, honey, I know it was a real stretch). We are still recovering but oh was it worth it! How important is math this week, really?

All weekend I was trying to explain to the kids how cool their parents were to take them to not one, but two straight nights of wild and crazy rock and roll. I don't think they were buying it. I guess when I am singing as loud as they are to the radio or stereo or dancing to the heavy metal band or rap guy at home they think this is normal mother behavior. Oh well, maybe someday they will see.....Though just when I was thinking how cool I was in the middle of the heavy metal concert - I looked beside and behind me only to see women older than me waving their arms and singing louder and knowing EVERY single lyric! Wow! I was impressed.

Saturday night was Toby Mac and the Diverse City Band. Great show - lots of fun.

Our great friends took Madison and Ryan early in the afternoon to scope good spots for the concert that wasn't until almost 9pm. Boy were the kids psyched!

These boys lasted all night long.....one boy (Jonathan fell asleep halfway through)

"Boomin' with my stereo system!"

Sunday night was Skillet - Jonathan did his own hair and was rested and ready to rock.

Rock it....

This time Madison, Ryan and I went early to scope spots and Merl and the littles came later and other friends met us too.

We weren't this close to the stage.....it was a little wild down there.....awesome telephoto on my camera.

To those of you who may be a bit concerned we have flipped our lids and are leading our poor children astray - no worries. Went to classical piano concert a few months ago, horse show last month, Game and Fish excursion set for this Friday.....the bands were "Christian" and have been thoroughly checked out and lyrics studied.....it's ok if you don't like rap or raging guitar and drums. I won't hold it against you. Just trying to be well rounded with our activities. Ha!

There is no doubt I feel better when the house is clean - things are organized - or when the meals are planned. This weekend was one to ignore it all and do some screaming, dancing, jumping, and singing. Rock on......and back to reality~